If There Ever Comes a Time
by MissMandS
Summary: Her lips and her teeth are still stained black from the charcoal. It feels as though her whole body has been cleaned out, someone taking a scrub brush, cutting her open then proceeding to scrub every available inch. But they still missed a spot because the woman staring at her keeps wrinkling her nose as if she sees a speck of dirt.


All Sigrid can think about is how disappointed her father is going to be, how upset Bilbo will be. Her father will stare at her with that hard, disappointed gaze. And he won't hug her anymore; he won't even want to touch her. There will be no more hugs, no more arms around her shoulders or even hands on her head. Bilbo, he's going to lock up all the cabinets she knows, going to monitor her constantly and demand to know how she's doing, if everything really is okay. Bain will look at her differently, like she isn't his big sister anymore. Like she's some complete stranger. And Tilda, she's too young to understand this but she'll know. She'll just know that something is different, that something has changed and that nothing is ever going to be the same again.

Her lips and her teeth are still stained black from the charcoal. It feels as though her whole body has been cleaned out, someone taking a scrub brush, cutting her open then proceeding to scrub every available inch. But they still missed a spot because the woman staring at her keeps wrinkling her nose as if she sees a speck of dirt.

"Miss? Is there anyone we can call for you?" Anyone they can call. She has to come up with a name and then they will go away, they will leave her alone.

"Lindir, call my friend Lindir." And she gives them the number, stumbling over her words because she just wants to be left alone.

* * *

When Lindir comes in he looks worried, disappointed but to her relief, not angry. He stops short of her bed with his hands shoved in his pockets and his chest heaving with unsteady breaths as he watches her.

"The doctors said if it wasn't for you calling an ambulance and just letting me fall asleep, I would be dead." Sigrid says quietly. Lindir winces, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as he looks at the IV bag.

"It was finals week, you were suffering from headaches and took some acetaminophen. It was both our faults for not keeping track of how much you were taking and how often." Lindir says quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I told the doctors and they know it wasn't an intentional thing so they're going to release me. But that means I have to go home."

"What's so bad about going home?"

"My mom was in a bad car accident after Tilda was born. She became addicted to OxyContin and we lost her to the pills. Not literally at first. At first she just became a zombie and my da put up with it because he wanted things to work. He wanted them to be okay. Then when her physical therapy was over and she could move around again da got fed up quick."

"They divorced and my mom—she's trying. She tries. Sometimes she goes to rehab and for a little while she can be clean and be our mom. But then she talks to her drug friends or something happens and isn't sure how to cope and mom's pills are there for her and yeah. I can't tell my da, Lindir."

"Sigrid it was an accident."

"It's not your family! If you were the one who had to be loaded up into an ambulance, who had everyone gather around, whisper and ask what happened then be forced to drink charcoal and vomit, would you want to tell them?" Lindir's face is impassive as he replies.

"Yes because it was finals. Because I was suffering from headaches all week, felt like I was starting to get a fever and I was under a lot of stress. Because I wasn't paying attention to anything but keeping track of what times my finals were, when I had my next one, when I could maybe sneak a meal or some sleep in Sigrid." She is not going to cry in front of Lindir. She is not going to cry over this. She didn't cry when she was dumped, when her boyfriend cheated on her. She is not going to cry about this. She is not going to.

Sigrid folds over on herself, covering her face as she lets out a ragged sob. Lindir is careful not to disturb the IV as he climbs into the bed, even more careful as he pulls her into his arms.

"It's okay, it's over. It's all over now." Lindir soothes as she turns her face into his chest. Lindir is warm, smelling slightly of smoke and mint. He is familiar and unchanging. He is stable and she clings to him, willing him not to leave her here on this place.

"Please don't go." Sigrid pleads with him.

"Course not, still got stuff to do before you take me home to meet the family." And the way he says it almost makes her smile until a fresh wave of tears crashes over her.

* * *

Sorry about this onslaught of updates but I won't have wifi tonight and finals week is approaching. That and my health problems are feeling shitty. So trying to give everyone something to enjoy until I can actually feel up to writing again. Because if you've ever tried writing while your back is aching and you're nauseous, it doesn't always work.


End file.
